Honesty Hour


Welcome to our second official Honesty Hour on Jointly! We’ve promised to always bring you the cold, hard truth, so brace yourself. We’re about to open up our hearts, minds, and yes, mouths, to you.

Question: What is something that has been bothering you lately?



To be totally honest (cue Honest by Future), something pretty big has been bothering me since the start of the new year. It’s funny I’m actually hesitant to come out and say this because I’m not one for expressing my truest, inner feelings with the entire internet world. But, here goes nothing. Since 2014 began I’ve felt repeated pangs of disappoint in people around me. In fact, I think at some point every single person I’m close to has found a way to let me down in 2014. I think the number one thing that makes me lose a little faith in people is…

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A Change + An Update

Oh god oh god. My blogging inconsistencies have reached an all time high. I just… don’t… have the time these days. But we all know that if you care about something, you make the time. So I guess it’s more that I’ve cared less these days. Yikes. It happens. After my last post (and sorry I’ve left you on that sad note), I made one really big change and switched jobs. This came as a huge shock to almost everyone I told. I had an epic love for BBH, I had been welcomed, accepted, and embraced, and it was wonderful. I adored everyone I worked with, and never had that dreadful Sunday night feeling (which is a feat in itself). But things had started changing. My support system was thinning, and an amazing opportunity came my way. And I had to take it!

So since March 5th (after a nice, restful week at home), I’ve been moseying over to Mother New York every day. It’s a pleasant little walk from the apartment – which is a hell of a lot better than starting days with a Subway ride. And it has been a HUGE change. It makes sense. When you take a step forward in your career, clearly it takes time to adjust. The work is harder (quite a bit harder), the responsibility is greater, and I’m very very accountable (which is scary). I’m guiding strategy on a ton of awesome accounts, traveling, and making friends, though. It’s been good.


Mother New York rooftop


Mother New York kitchen

So that’s work life. Which is pretty much life life because we’re in our twenties and live in NYC ;)

But a few other goodies are on the horizon this summer. Boyfriend and I are headed back to Ohio over Memorial Day, and then back again for my cousin’s high school graduation, and then back again for a friend’s wedding, and BFF’s engagement party. LOTS of Ohio loving. Hopefully we can sneak in some other trips, too. And some NYC time because we all know how glorious this city is in the summer.


A few other fun highlights

Will try my darndest to update more often. Promise!



When Life Throws You Lemons – A Tribute to Griffin Farley

I’ve been fielding a few lemons in weeks past. The tart kind. That just don’t make for decent lemonade. I’m not the only one coping with these. A lot of people are feeling their bitter effects. I guess that’s how it goes when the world loses someone who’s widely loved. It’s been a week and a half since Griffin Farley passed, and it’s just starting to become real. He’s in a better place, of course, no longer plagued by his sickness. He has truly truly left the world with a powerful grace. But his absence is heavy.

Since I never got to thank him in person for everything that he did for me – except for perhaps a few passing comments – I figure the web is the perfect place for me to share my love and appreciation. Griffin, I hope you hear this!


Griff! We miss you here. We miss your smile and your spirit and your unabashed positivity. I know it was hard, for the last few weeks, to make it into the office all the time. I know it was a long journey from home and you were worn out, but you came in everyday, and faced it fearlessly. I would come up to your desk, and you’d always smile and say good-morning, acknowledging that every day is a blessing and we all better be bloody thankful that we have it. I know you think you were doing it for yourself. But really I think you were doing it for us. For me, even.

You taught me so much. How to be a good strategist, understand digital and social, consider the big picture, but not without digging into the details. I know whatever moves I make in my career will be largely because of what you taught me. And how much you believed in me. But work aside, you taught me perseverance. You taught me that regardless of the lemons thrown your way, life chugs along. And you have to make the best of it! You have to appreciate every moment, every person, every conversation, every opportunity – that’s what makes life wonderful and beautiful and full. 

I know it took me some time to find the words. And words are very often inadequate. But I hope, from the bottom of my heart, that you understand just how thankful I am to have had you. You changed my life.

I pray for your family every day. But I know they’ll persevere too. They are your family after all. I know your daughters will be strong, resilient, and deeply kind. And your wife will see so much of you in them. 

We’ll all say goodbye this weekend. But I wanted a moment just for us (and I guess the web since we spent so much of our time together here!) to share how I feel. 

Lots of Love, 


When Your Life is Just Fine (and you don’t make resolutions)

Another year has come and gone. 2012 was relatively uneventful. No big moves, no big switches, no big, crazy end of an era moments (although it was the year of the Fringe). My life is pretty much the same. Nothing really changed.

But somehow, I still feel like 2012 altered me in a way no other year has. This isn’t a case of hyperbolic retrospection either. I have actually felt myself change, very palpably. My life from the outside looks much the same (besides the very obvious change in my eating habits, and a 500% increase in the number of baby pics I share – (not my babies of course!!!!)). I’m still in New York. Still in my first New York apartment (though with a different roomie). Still at BBH. Still with THE man. Still wanting to write (although WAY less dedicated. Slap on my wrist). It’s the way that I approach things that’s changed. Because 2012 was a chock-full of life lessons.  The kind of lessons I’ll carry with my for the rest of my life. 

1. Jobs are not stable. 

This is obvious. We all know that, anecdotally, jobs are not stable. We see people struggle to find employment and keep employment constantly. I’ve never known the feeling of losing a job, but I now know the feeling of getting pretty damn close, and watching a ton of close friends lose theirs. Experiencing a large round of lay-offs totally changed me. I realized that a job is not a job. It’s a means of living. And when people lose that livelihood, it’s a scary scary time. I’ve always known how lucky I am to love my job. But now I’m the type of person to realize how lucky I am to have a job.

2. Women will always be in more danger than men.

When you’re entrenched in youth, it’s easy to feel invincible. Talking to strangers at clubs, letting them buy you a drink, running home alone, through the city streets, at 4am in your tiny sequin dress. It’s all so easy to do. And it feels natural, and liberating, and like you’re just living life. But it’s not really living life. Especially for women. It’s almost being irresponsible? 

When the story of 23-year-old student, Damini’s (which is not actually her real name, but the name of a movie character who refused allow her rapist justice) gang-rape broke, it shook me to my core. I’ve never had a news story affect me so deeply. When the student died a few days back, I couldn’t believe it. This, to me, unleashed an out-pour of rape cases (or at least my awareness of them). 

The other night my roommate and I were discussing the case in Steubenville, Ohio. And that’s when we stumbled upon the above lesson. Women will always be in more danger than men. 

3. And actually, even though youth lends itself to feeling invincible, it has also become a very dangerous time. Which is heartbreaking, unbelievable, sick, and disappointing. 

4. You will always be the only one responsible for yourself.

I feel like 2012 was my first year of utter independence. I’ve been financially independent since I graduated college in 2009, but I have to admit that it’s taken me a while to become mentally and emotionally independent. I know this is a product of age, but also circumstance (there are plenty of twenty-somethings that are dependent on others in many ways). I’ve found that I in 2012, I knew what I wanted without much discussion. I stood my ground. If someone asked my opinion, I stated it seamlessly, with conviction. And then I acted on it – knowing that if I wanted something done, I’d have to do it myself. This is very new. And refreshing, and sort of wonderful. I’m pretty proud of it. 

At the beginning of 2012, my resolution was to write for 30 minutes a day (amongst the stereotypic “exercise more, eat better”). I acted on this for about a week, and then stopped. I’m not proud of it, but I sort of realize the futility of resolutions. Goals, of course. Milestones, yes. But resolving to stick to something for an entire year without a sense of what the year will bring? Sort of complacent. So this year, I have no such resolutions. I just have one thing I want. Adventure! I want to do new things, meet new people, go to places I’ve never been, and enjoy myself. And even if I do this a little bit more than last year, I’ll be happy. Because progress starts with babysteps. 


i want this kind of adventure too… just to be clear.

Happy (belated) new years everyone. Wishing you and yours lots and lots of love, happiness, success and adventure in 2013!



A Lesson in Faith and Self-Assuredness

I read the most amazing story today. One that re-instilled within me a sense of pride, respect, and faith in humanity (I know it sounds extreme).

I’m sure many of you have seen this, but I couldn’t help but share again. Please take the time to give this a read. It’s people like this that will one day make this world a better place. And hopefully make all of us better people.



The Maturation of Heartbreaks

When people think about heartbreak, they almost immediately fall into the realm of romance. Having their stomach drop when they see their freshly estranged lover in an embrace, even if it’s casual and brought on by a few drinks, with a relatively attractive new friend. Passionately consuming old emails, unblinking, trying to re-imagine, for the hundredth time, what it felt like to be with them. Digging through dresser drawers and shelves with stacked clothes for something that may have retained the slightest scent. Or at least a strong memory that hadn’t been unearthed yet.

One should never undermine this sort of heartbreak, of course. For it’s the sharpest, and most enduring sort.

But there are other heartbreaks, too. And as life chugs along, they become more and more prevalent, and sometimes, comparably gut-wrenching.

Because it’s only appropriate that once one’s love life starts to settle down, the world finds other ways to keep them on their (now blue and battered) toes.

My number one cause for heartbreak of late has been friendships. It’s my own fault. I always approach things with the highest of high expectations, always believing that everyone will go above and beyond, pick me up when I’m down, and generally look out for me. This is ridiculous of course, because everyone has to look after themselves, first and foremost. And I, as an adult woman, should have realized that quite some time ago.

And so I find myself frequently burned. And heartbroken. And taken advantage of. And seriously confused.

The same way I felt when I was 13 and the boy I liked didn’t like me back. A lingering feeling of crushed.

I’ve realized that friendships change as people grow. I’ll never have those quixotic-type friendships again.  I’ll never feel that symbiotic, mutual reliance that makes friendships flourish. I’ll never trust in the same way. I’ll never put anyone before myself (with the exception of family). I’ve learned my lessons and know that while walls are a bit too opaque, a translucent glass shield should always exist. And I should always be prepared to retreat behind it, if only for a bit.

That way, next time, at least I’ll have preserved myself from the get-go. And I can sit back and say I knew it was coming. Because a blindsided heartbreak is the absolute worst sort.

But no big deal. This will be better for all of us.

(Shield up.)


Coco J. Ginger Says

“You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.”

“Why is it,” he said, one time, at the subway entrance, “I feel I’ve known you so many years?”
“Because I like you,” she said, “and I don’t want anything from you.”

“You must write every single day of your life… You must lurk in libraries and climb the stacks like ladders to sniff books like perfumes and wear books like hats upon your crazy heads… may you be in love every day for the next 20,000 days. And out of that love, remake a world.”

—Ray Bradbury        Rest in peace friend, you taught us much.

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