Finding a gift, picking an outfit, paying for transportation, arriving on time, shedding one single tear (to show you care without being “that girl,” who sobs so hard she has lipstick spilling down her chin), dancing your arse off (despite the fact that your ex-boyfriend is creeping around you in slow, deliberate circles), and writing the longest, most poignant note in the beautiful couple’s guest book. The list goes on of course.
People always think that the hardest part of weddings is planning them. Understandable. But it’s important to remember that guests can make or break a wedding. So friends, I’m about to teach you how to be a SUPERGUEST.
1. They’re not lying. This is truly the most important day of their now unified life. Remember that.
2. Ladies, do not wear white. Duh.
3. Even if it’s 90 degrees and you feel like your face is melting off, KEEP SMILING. No looks of disgust, dismay, or dislike. If that girl looks out into the crowd, she wants to see happy faces.
4. Gifts are tough. If the couple has a registry, use it. If they’ve asked for cash, you’re in a more difficult spot. The appropriate amount really depends on your relationship with the couple and what you know about them. Just make sure whatever you do, you put the cash in a card or a pretty envelope at the least.
5. For the sake of all things holy, turn off your damn cell phone! And if not completely off, turn it on silent and DO NOT PICK IT UP. If you must talk to someone, keep it within a two foot radius, and keep it to a whisper. We all know how to use our inside voices.
6. If at any point, you feel compelled to complain about the food, you better leave the venue, walk to a place that’s far far away from all guests, and call a friend that is completely detached from anyone at the wedding. The last thing you want is for someone from the wedding party to hear you talking about how the food makes you want to vom. They have enough to worry about. Plus, the family probably paid a ton for YOU to eat.
7. When the DJ starts dropping beats, you better jump out yo seat! After the lovely gushy stuff, the couple wants their wedding to be a party. So go up there and show em what they workin with. Dance with the bride, the groomsmen, the little kids twirling around alone, and just have a good time!
8. Try not to “fall asleep” at the wedding. Hydrate and pick a partner to keep you in check.
And voila! You’ve become a super guest. You’ll thank me later.
Happy Friday Party People!